Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
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We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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