Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
