you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
