dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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