DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
