i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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