I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
