Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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