I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
