I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
