so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
