R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
