you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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