I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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