dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize