I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
