After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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