8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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