did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
