dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize