Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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