i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
