dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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