There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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