getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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