Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is Oprah even human
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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