I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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