Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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