oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
