Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
