If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
