so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize