I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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