I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
