They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
