wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize