The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
