My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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