I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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