Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
