Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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