Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
