Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
