Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
