Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
