why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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