I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
