I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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