Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
