if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
