So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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