Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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