Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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