i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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