I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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