Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She announced her abortion via fbk
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
