i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
