And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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