I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
